Deadpool's New FanFiction Adventure
by A Northern Irish man
Summary: Deadpool is off on another adventure. Filled with Swords, Guns, Puns and plenty of 4th wall breaking. I guess the phrase "Satire" might apply. Will write a better Summary once I have an actual plot line


**So I thought I'd start another story. Depending on how its received I'll continue but there will definitely be gaps between chapters. But all in all, enjoy...**

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Wade groaned loudly as the alarm clock on his bedside table next to his spring-ridden bed. He could sleep through the subway trains that bulleted passed the window of his tiny apartment and made everything that wasn't bolted down shake but the alarm's rings drilled into his head. Wade slid his hand under his pillow and revealed a Desert Eagle. He slung his arm over his head and fired upon the alarm clock, silencing it instantly. Placing the gun down on the clock's remains, Wade slowly and begrudgingly got up out of bed. He was in boxer shorts and a white tank top that had a mustard stain on it that Wade still hadn't bothered to get washed out. His bare feet tingled slightly as they hit the ice-cold wooden floorboards. Wade stumbled his way into the living room stretching and scratching his head. As he scratched flakes of skins peeled off his disfigured his head, which Wade simply flicked off his hand and onto the floor. He got to the coffee table covered in Chinese food and beer cans and proceeded to rummage through the mess to find a can that still had some beer left. Once finding one Wade continued drinking it as he made his way to the window to look out at the busy city.

"Christ, another fan fiction. Terrific." He stated as he looked upwards then back down to take another mouthful of beer. "Do you really need to write every minute detail of what I'm doing?"

Suddenly there was a zipping sound and a quick smash of glass. Wade noticed a small hole in his window that hadn't been there before. He then looked down at his top and saw a red stain, which then began to expand. Wade gave out a deep sigh. Mustard and bloodstains, this was going to be hell to wash. He looked up and saw on the roof of the building across the street was a shooter, perched up on the edge and still aiming at him. He opened the window and lent out.

"Hey. Do you a decent dry cleaners around here?" Wade called out to him. The shooter didn't respond but did look confused. The shooter then began to fire again, this time in rapid concession. The bullets shattered the rest of the window and buried themselves into the outer walls of the building. "I'll take that as no." he stated just before retreating back into his apartment.

Wade had a pretty small apartment and the spacing problem was not helped by the fact he spent most of his last paycheck on weapons, which filled a majority of his home. He began to look through the various crates to find the right gun. Finally Wade found what he was looking for, a M79 grenade launcher. Wade made his way back to the window and lent out of the window, aiming his M79 and waving goodbye. The shooter stopped firing, looked up at Wade with a look of fear and scrambling to get out of there. Wade fired and hit his opponent in the back of the head. The explosion created a billow of smoke that shot up high into the sky. Wade got back inside and proceeded to get dressed and continue to complain about the story.

"Damn right I'm complaining" He grumbled. "I have to go through another adventure written by some amateur writer who thinks he can get the tale right. He doesn't even read my comics on a regular basis. He read Suicide Kings and has now my Wikipedia page and my page on the Marvel Wiki open so he can keep it accurate. What an idiot." Wade was now in his full outfit and was now Deadpool. "So I presume you're going to refer to me as Deadpool now I'm dressed." Said Deadpool as he left the apartment, "Knew it."

Deadpool made his way down onto the semi- busy street. People walking past him gave him odd looks; it was most likely the red and black costume, the swords and guns. Deadpool stood there, thinking about what to eat for breakfast. He soon came to a decision, McDonalds. He strolled down the avenue to the McDonalds down the road. He got inside the _restaurant_ and got into the cue. As he waited in the line Deadpool started conversation but not with anyone around him.

"What should I get?" Deadpool asked. The Egg McMuffin was described as a pork sausage patty that was lightly seasoned with herbs, free-range eggs with a fresh slice of cheese. It sounded very tasty. "You're right, it does sound very tasty. And they've got pancakes, its even got syrup." Deadpool got to the counter and ordered his breakfast. He found a seat, giddy with anticipation for his pancakes. He sat down and lifted his mask slightly over his mask. As Deadpool began munching on the Egg McMuffin he spotted a group of burley looking men making their way towards the door.

"Great. Now he's going to it on a cliff-hanger and I'm going to have to sit and wait here until he can bother to write another chapter. He's probably going to ask for you to review the story so he can get a feeling of acceptance. What a loser."

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**So There you have it. Hope you enjoyed. Please review so I know how I did**


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